How many times have you heard the phrase, “practice makes perfect?” Whether in a sport or studying for school, supposedly the more you work at it, the better you become.
Not just better though, perfect.
Growing up, I went to a school that rewarded all things perfect. Getting that “A” or even before letter grades, getting a “4” was all I knew. People thought I was “lucky”
The first time I actually studied for a test was in seventh grade social studies.
We were working on geography and our teacher had outlined 144 countries we needed to know by name. If you got 100% on every quiz, as well as the final exam that had all 144, you got your name and picture put on the World Map Wall of Fame.
So, I studied to get the 100%. And I got it.
Perfect.
Sure getting an “A” seems great, but it never occured to me that I couldn’t. I never learned how to fail at something I had tried so hard for. It simply just was never a part of my life.
My first big failure was my sophomore year.
I worked harder than I ever had before to make the varsity soccer team. Putting everything I had into tryouts, I took a dive that gave me a turf burn so badly that I lost several layers of skin. I left with a huge scar on the back of my leg.
I didn’t make varsity.
All the way home I cried and not just because my leg hurt. I actually felt like a failure.
I had done all the right things and I still didn’t get the results I had expected.
Recently, I have had more on my plate than ever before: PSAT, SAT next year, colleges, scholarships, pre-calc, AP classes, work, clubs, extracurriculars. But, with each opportunity comes a higher chance of failing or even just screwing up.
My mindset towards my success and how I expect perfection from myself hasn’t completely gone away. But, I am becoming more willing to start talking about my high expectations and that maybe “perfection” should not always be what I am reaching towards.
I have never been someone to turn down a new opportunity or challenge, no matter how daunting or stressful.
However, where I used to dwell on being perfect, I am now trying to live in the moment and learn from every experience.
I know deep down that no one will be perfect all of the time. I also know that, for some of us, perfection isn’t just recommended, we require it from ourselves.
Although I have not had an “AHA” moment where I finally realized that it is okay not to be perfect, I am working towards learning the fact that just because you fail does not mean YOU are a failure.
It simply means you have found another way not to do things.
