When you’re a person of color, you learn to differentiate pigments, hues, and shades of skin before your ABC’s.
As my dad once put it, when you’re black you stand out “like a raisin in a bowl of rice.” Because we blacks are few in numbers, stereotypes and misconceptions are often seen as truths that we are reluctant to embrace. Yet, if we can’t break the stigmas during school, they will transfer throughout our lives.
Throughout the school system, you’ll have the stereotypical cliques: the “woke” blacks, the “ghetto” blacks, the “drug dealer” blacks, with the “lightskins” and “darkskins”. There are more, but I’m not here to fill up a bible-lengthed list.
These stereotypes create little room for individualism, thus, if I didn’t fit the molds correctly and follow along, I was stripped of my blackness.
Because I spoke “proper english,” didn’t sag my pants, didn’t swear or fight, I never fit the stigmas created by society that blueprinted throughout the school. Peers would often deem me as more “white.”
Dealing with social pressures and personal growth caused me, like many, to question my identity. I felt stuck in the middle of being defined by society while trying to understand life for myself. My actions, thoughts, and desires caused me to feel ostracized.
While in elementary, I was “supposed” to be fast and agile, so I was pushed to run and compete. In middle school, I was “different” because I didn’t fight or steal. In high school, when it was unclear why I went vegan, it was because “I love chicken and kool-aid.”
It got to a point where I became numb to the pain and misunderstanding. In fourth grade a classmate once asked: “When you shower, is the water dirty?”
That was the pivotal moment.
I truly understood the necessity of self-love as some students laughed, while others were genuinely curious to know. Looking back, you grow beautiful when you’re black. Through the ignorance and stigmas, we maintain our black girl and black boy magic.
When I walk into any room, the atmosphere changes. But it isn’t just me, the energy of a black person is so vibrant that people can’t help but stare.
Others wouldn’t like the attention, but when you’re black you learn to harness the fears, curiosity, and admiration, and push forward.